Anthony Hayward Author

 

Anthony was brought up during the 1970s, although he didn't enjoy the experience; the flared trousers, the tall shirt collars, beige tank tops, the glitzy glum rock, the punk bands, a Black Jack was a chew and a penny could buy two, dad eating Vesta curry and Mr. Whippy was an ice cream van! This all had a lasting effect on him.


   Then in his late teens he found Motown music.  Soul music actually had lyrics you could understand, you didn't need to wear tartan trousers, or stick pins and chains through your nose, ears or other orifices. Anthony then began to find pleasure in the Motown lyrics he was listening too, as he watched the other Kids from his bedroom window, the girls who bounced up and down on their Space hoppers and the boys who were strutting with their Chopper bikes. Anthony spent many an afternoon watching the girls bounce up and down whilst he enjoyed the Motown beat, but that's teenagers for you.

   The hardest moment in Anthony's childhood was the event of his rich parents being gunned by a hood - whoops, no! Hang on a minute! That was Batman.
   Actually, Anthony's most painful moment as a child was being forced to eat sweet peas, then vomiting all over his plate! Anyway apart from wanting to throw up sweet corn as well, he survived. His ambition, apart from preventing Wrinklies from taking over the world, was to become a Sailor, and so, in the year of 1978, he joined the Army.


   It was at this point in his life that Anthony chose to follow the foot steps of his favorite Action man, who sadly isn't with us today; he was caught by the enemy, mainly Anthony's mother and tortured beyond recognition, some years earlier. In the December of 1978 with acne and curly hair, Anthony started training as a soldier.

Every man should do his duty! Oh! I forgot! That was Nelson.
Be Alert! That's the Army motto, because the Army needs Lerts.

So dressed in olive drab, a black beret and two left feet, Anthony was drilled in a squad, and then the squad met the Drill Sergeant, who added the right foot to the equation to prevent the squad from going round in circles.

   One of Anthony's fondest memories, when he was a raw recruit, at the tender age of 16, was the first time the recruits were taken into the shower block to be shown shaving techniques, shaving cream and electric razors don't go together, but it was interesting to watch and left many a' boy soldier in tears.

   After being a Pioneer for 10yrs and 172 days, 4 of those years served in Northern Ireland, Anthony had served his time and left the military, although he feels that it gave him a good foundation for life.


Now you've probably guessed by now, that nothing really goes to plan in a writers life, but Anthony is hoping that he has at least, made you smile with these outtakes.